How not to sound like a dimwit when engaging in discussions about technology. #1

  #1 Smartphones.

Hi, I'm Atinuke and I know basically nothing about technology but here I am writing for a tech blog.
If there's one thing I'm good at, it's pretending to know stuff I really know nothing about.
So, I decided to start a segment called "How not to sound like a dimwit when engaging in discussions about technology".

I'm more of the artsy kind but everyone knows that technology is the future. So, for those of you who don't know much about technology, solidarity✊. But then, ignorance isn't a good enough excuse so we have to get with the program (weak pun intended) and learn.

In this age of globalization, tech knowledge is key. But not all of us can be gurus so the basic knowledge will do.

If you're reading this you're using a smart phone. They've taken over the world. I'll be giving a few tips on how not to destroy your smartphone and how to prevent it from spontaneously bursting into flames.

1. Do not put your phone in the washing machine: Water and phones do not go well together. They're like ying and not yang. Your phone will die if it is exposed to water. And no. Soap won't make it clean.
2. Do not eat your phone: It is NOT yummy. And it won't digest.
3. Do not leave your phone on the side of the road: It will get stolen or stepped on. Either way you will lose it.
4. Do not take selfies on public roads: You will get hit by a car and your phone will fall and break. Your bones will break too
5. Do not drop your phone in the toilet: Flush your dreams and aspirations down the toilet not your phone. The phone is worth more.

Now you are semi equipped to converse with intellectuals.
Go into the world and prosper.
Love, your ignorant blogger
Atinuke.

(Note: Do not take any of my comments seriously. It is a product of youthful exuberance)