How not to sound like a dimwit when engaging in discussions about technology #2

#2 Cars

We all know what cars are. They're the product of technology; the brain child of some science dude whose name I can't recall. Over the years, the world view on automobiles has shifted from fear and resentment of cars due to ignorance to appreciation and love for them.

The typical human being will enter or at least see a car before he or she dies unless one lives in the jungle or is dead. But then even if you live in the jungle it is highly probable that you'll come across at least one car in your life time.

Just be careful not to eat it.

Cars have become a necessity because they help us move from place to place hassle free. Well, that is if your car is not a half dead combination of scrap metal. However, this product of innovation also has it's demerits.

For example, it has been medically proven that cars make you fat. Prolonged use of cars will make you overweight and soon, you'll have to be transported by a harness via helicopter. Also, cars take up space. Unlike scooters and magic flying brooms, cars require a large storage area. Cars will not fit into your purse. Cars also have the tendency to hit things. There is also a school of thought that believes that cars will turn against us and help commute the zombies during the zombie apocalypse.

The merits of cars far outweigh the demerits though.
I for one have benefited greatly from automobiles and their added features. For example, the engine doubles as a grill for steak and what not. Also, cars provide an avenue for one to seem knowledgeable while conversing. If a person were to ask me what to do if my car broke down I'd say "I'd check the quantum carburator and then tweak the microverse battery" (Rick and Morty reference). That alone should add a few points to my conversation game card. Cars have shown immense loyalty even though they are high maintenance. Buy your car a nice dose of petrol and engine oil and it follows you around without complaint.

In order to keep your car in good shape follow these simple tips

1. Do not lock your car key in the car: This will make you look immensely stupid and you'll need to pay someone to get it open.
2. Do not drive on the curb: You will hit innocent pedestrians, get sent to jail and your car will get confiscated. Emphasis is placed on the loss of the car as your life is probably already worthless.
3. Do not invite strangers into your car: Demons roam the streets.
4. Do not immerse your car in water: Leave baptism for the faithful.
5. Do not take your car out on a date and not call back: They're sensitive

Now you know more about cars.
Go forth into  the world and dazzle all with your wisdom.

Your favorite ignorant blogger,
Atinuke